Immigration

Stalin dies. He then goes to hell (of course).

In heaven, angels are awakened by a huge noise at heaven's door... Saint Peter opens the door and what does he see... a crowd of devils creaming desperately.

Saint Peter: "What is wrong with you, what are you doing here?"

Devils: "We are the first group of immigrants from hell! We request political exile in heaven! Since Stalin is down there with us, the whole hell has went nuts!"

Millions of people living in Romania are escaping from dictator Ceauşescu's cruel regime. After millions of immigrants have rushed out of the country, the communist party's central committee decides to convince its people not to immigrate, even more, people living in Romania are being persuaded to call their already immigrated relatives back to the country.

The idea is to get as many new communists as possible.

A jobless citizen is brought to the communist party's headquarters and asked: "Do you have relatives in the west?"

He replies, "Sure I have!". Then he's questioned further...

Communists: "Whom do you have in foreign countries?"

Citizen: "My brother lives in France"...

Communists: "What is he working there?"

Citizen: "He's a cook!"

Communists: "Great! Bring him back, we need a cook! Do you have any other relatives?"

Citizen: "I have a sister in Germany"

Communists: "What is she working?"

Citizen: "Typewriter"

Communists: "Wonderful, we just need a typewriter! Any other relatives?"

Citizen: "I have an uncle in Italy"

Communists: "What does he do there?"

Citizen: "He is a shoemaker"

Communists: "We were just looking for a shoemaker! Bring him back too! Whom else do you have abroad?"

Citizen: "I have a cousin in the USA"

Communists: "What does he work there?"

Citizen: "He doesn't. He' unemployed"

Communists: "Great! Bring him back and we'll make him communist party member!"

Citizen: "Are you crazy? He keeps us all alive!"

Two North-Koreans are arguing about whether it is or it isn't worth to immigrate to the United States.

One of them says: "I've heard that in the US, 2 street dogs have eaten a guy!"

The other one: "So, let's go then!!! Yesterday in Pyongyang I saw 2 guys sharing only 1 dog!"

An East German citizen is caught at the Berlin wall by border guards and is interrogated, then he ends up in a nuthouse.

Then, when a relative visits him there he is asked "Why were you brought to the nuthouse?", the detainee replies: "I wanted to immigrate to the Soviet Union"

A Romanian immigrant returns to Romania to visit his family left behind and as he walks out of the airport he thinks: "So many years, I cannot believe that I am back to Romania".

He puts his luggage down and starts dreaming with open eyes: "So many years and I still cannot believe that I am back home in Romania".

Then, as he looks down to take his bags, he cannot find his luggage anywhere...

Then, he shouts: "Crap! Now I believe it, I'm back in Romania!"

Romanian immigrant, Vasile returns after 20 years from Germany, where he has immigrated as a child. He arrives to the Bucharest airport, where his mother is waiting for him.

Vasile has changed a lot, he has grown higher and has a huge beard.

His mother hugs him, to his surprise.

Vasile: "How did you recognize me, mother?"

His mother: "After your pullover sonny!"

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