Other jokes

The Cold War is over.

Communism tumbles and the mighty Soviet Union dismantles.

Russia's red flag is swapped for newer white-blue-red one.

15 years after the regime change, Russia faces economic problems, poverty.

Coca Cola calls Vladimir Putin and they make him a deal: "Mr.President, we can get you a great deal that would triple your GDP! We would pay twice the amount Russia earns if you'd switch back to the old red flag and write Coca Cola on it".

Putin laughs and replies: "No can do, koz' we already got a deal with Aquafresh for our current flag".

Sasha's mother-in-law is very old and is talking about death. She asks him to bury her in the Kremlin's wall.

Sasha: "But I that's impossible, you know that only famous people are buried there!"

But the old woman is impossible, she just keeps asking and asking.

Sasha leaves and calls back on the telephone...

Sasha: "All right, I've resolved it, you can be buried in the Kremlin's wall!"

Mother-in-law: "Really? You resolved that so fast?"

Sasha: "Yes, but please hurry up and come fast, we'll have to bury you in the next 2 hours, before the concrete truck arrives!"

On the Hungarian - Soviet border, Hungarian and Soviet border guards find a huge piece of gold sticking out of the ground.

After arguing, on who should be the rightful owner, a Soviet border guard shouts: "I know komradez! Let's split it like brothers!".

Because Hungarians know well what the Soviet term "like brothers" means, a Hungarian border guard replies: "Oh, no, no! Not "like brothers", let's split it half-half!"

After the Cold War, another similar situation appears with the "rule" of  George Walker Bush... People are protesting against Cold War politician-type Bush's "wer on terrer" and about his "nucular missile defense system"...

A US citizen is stopped on the street in Washington and asked by a journalist, whether he likes George Walker Bush.

The guy looks around quickly and shows signs to the journalist to follow him to the nearby park and hide behind a bush...

Then the guy shamefully whispers: "I do!"

Communist dictators did not believe in God, Jesus. Christian believers were persecuted and forced to be devoted to atheistic communism.

During communism, believing in God and Jesus was regarded as a crime.

In communist countries, people lived in poverty

Now why was not believing in God a mistake?

Because: there's no-on to give fish to!

Explanation: not believing in Jesus who (according to the Bible) gave fish to the people meant that there's no-one to give fish to.

A bus full of communists was driving on a serpentine in the mountainous part of Poland. A local man watching notices as the bus slips and goes straight off the serpentine and turns over.

The local man rapidly runs there to see if there are any survivors.

A priest, who was also witness to the crash, he too hurries to get to the spot.

The priest finds the local guy working heavily on covering some wholes...

The priest: "Were there any survivors, my son?"

Local man: "I dug the wholes and put them in, some of them were crying, saying that they are not dead, but you know father, how communists speak crap, one cannot trust 'em, so I buried them all!"

During communist dictatorship, Hungarians, as other nations were forced to call each other "comrades" (in Hungarian: "elvtárs", read "elvtarsh").

Hungary becomes the first country to rise up against communism in 1956, the first to dismantle the iron curtain and the first to topple communism in 1989.

After the fall of communism, everyone gives up the "comrade" word... Former communists feel ashamed and hide away from people. Being a former communist becomes a dreadful shame, a crime even. Former communists try to hide their past in order to get a good image in society.

Hungarian guy, László is walking on the street and meets a former communist neighbour and asks him how he is... they start chatting...

László: "Nice to see you after all these years! My god, you have changed a lot, I can hardly tell it's really you..."

Former communist: "You have changed too neighbour!"

László: "You were fat and now you are thin!"

Former communist: "And you were thin and now you're fat!"

László: "Right! And your hair was black and now it's white! Comrade, you have changed so much!"

Former communist: "I'm not a comrade!"

László: "Oh, you've changed your political side too, ey? You filthy pig!"

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