Soviet-US competition

A conference takes place in Switzerland for the rubber manufacturers from all around the World. Specialists attend and exchange experience, but of course, the east and west also competes in the rubber industry...

A British, an American and a Soviet specialist meet and argue about which country makes the best rubber...

British rubber specialist: "O' we make thee finest and moest resistant rubba' in thee wheole Wo'ld, a fellow fell of thee Towe' Bridge in London and his suspenders saved his life. He found himself hanging from thee windoew until othe' lads came and rescued 'im"

American rubber specialist: "That's nothin'! Listen to this: a guy in LA slipped off the roof of a skyscraper and his chewing gum got stuck to the balcony, the gum slowly slowly elongated until he was down on the street, without a scratch, man, I'm tellin' ya, this guy's life was saved by our gum formula!'

Soviet rubber specialist: "Now listen to what our great komrades did! A worker komrade was repairing the roof of the Kremlin, but he slipped and fell off. He god killed when he reached the strong konkrete of the Red Square!"

American & British rubber specialists: "???"

Soviet rubber specialist: "But hey, his rubber bootz were perfektly intakt!"

The USA and the Soviet Union are in a childish competition. Who's bigger, who's smarter, who's faster, etc. Are issues being debated constantly.

The space is the final frontier, as we all know from Star Trek... Se, the two big states have started off in a space race.

The Russians have launched Sputnik, then Gagarin, then the Americans set their feet on the Moon and so on and so on...

Then, the US president, George Bush gets a call from NASA: "Mr. President! The Russians have landed on the Moon!"

The next day NASA calls again: "Sir! The Russians are starting to paint the Moon red!"

Bush treats the issue with little interest, NASA, the US Air Force, the Navy, the Army, the Marines are all alarmed and push Bush to do something about it.

The third day, they assault him: "Mr.President, we have to do something, they already painted half of the Moon red!"

Bush doesn't give much attention to all the noise and fuss around him...

 The fourth day, the US Congress starts a meeting on the subject, accusing Bush of ignorance: "They have painted the Moon red! It's as red as the communist flag, red red red!"

Bush: "O.K. guys, let's write Coca-Cola on it now!" 

 Newspapers in the Soviet Union always acclaim Russian inventions, sportsmen, etc., considering them superior to anything that the Americans create.

Soviet communist newspapers are full of phrases like: "The best sportsmen at the olympics were the Soviet sportsmen...", "The first man is space, Russian hero, Yuri Gagarin... ", "The best tank in the World, the T-72...", "The biggest country in the World is the Soviet Union...", "The coldest winters are in Siberia...", "We, Russians have the most powerful nuclear weapons...", "Russian vodka is the strongest drink in the World..."...and so on. Everything Russian is the best, fastest, strongest.

An international dwarf competition is organized. Each country brings its shortest men to the contest...

At the beginning of the contest, the Russian ambassador keeps a speech: "Ladies and gentlemen! Without any doubt, the Russian dwarf is the biggest dwarf in the whole World!"

...no wonder they didn't understand why they lost the competition...

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